Pig butchering scams and romance scams are not just financial crimes. They are deeply emotional violations that prey on vulnerability, grief, and isolation. This is a first-hand account. Daughter, Lucy, shares the complication of her mother’s life as she becomes the target of an elaborate romance scam.

It began as a seemingly innocent message from a “handsome stranger”. Soon it turned into a manipulation that cost this woman her savings, her sense of self, and her trust.

This is not a hypothetical warning. It’s a raw, personal story from the frontlines of digital exploitation. It lays bare the tactics used by scammers and the emotional toll on victims. It highlights the helplessness families feel as they watch loved ones get pulled deeper into the scammer’s web. As pig butchering scams grow more sophisticated, stories like this prove the urgent need for awareness, support, and intervention.

The romance scam begins: Message from a handsome man

“About October in 2024, my Mum sent me a WhatsApp picture of a very handsome man with the phrase ‘think Mum is in love,’” explains Lucy. “I replied with a load of questions, and straight away it was clear this isn’t legitimate.

“She forwarded an image of a ‘contract’ for him, supposedly from the State of Alaska, for $8million, which looked so unconvincing but Mum seemed pretty taken in. Over the next two days my husband and I were speaking to her and working to convince her this was fake – my husband even made up a fake contract like the one he’d sent, for £8million to be paid to him and sent it to my Mum to show her how easily it was done.

“We thought we’d got through to her. She said she knew it was all fake but quite enjoyed ‘stringing him along’, so would carry on chatting to him. We knew how lonely she was since losing her husband the year before, but it seemed mad to us that she wouldn’t just shut it down when, in our minds and by showing her ‘proof’, it was clearly lies. But she has very little money to speak of, so we just asked her to keep us updated on when he would come visit and hoped it would simmer down.”

A Christmas call and the aggression starts

“The worst of it was at Christmas,” Lucy continues. “She came to stay for a bit and it was the most horrendous few days. She asked my husband to help her transfer some money using this website, which was obviously not a legitimate bank website but a way of phishing for Mum’s bank details.

“An hour or so later, she received this phone call from a very aggressive man, whose voice was certainly not that of a stereotypical white American as he’d described. Suddenly, she’s apologising profusely for not sending the money to him.

“It sounded like an aggressive partner verbally berating her, and was so forceful my husband had to say something to her while she was on the phone. The moment the caller heard another voice, he hung up.

“Then the scammer rang back, grilling her about making sure they can talk privately because ‘nobody will understand our love and they’ll try to break us up.’ Then, again, demanding she sort out the bank transfer.”

Vulnerability of grief, and lying to protect the scammer

“She’d borrowed £300 from us, apparently for Christmas presents,” says Lucy. “It was clear the max value of everything she had bought was around £30 from Temu. The presents aren’t the issue in the slightest, but highlighted the fact that the money was going somewhere else.

“She was forever on her phone and so protective when it rang or she got a message. I once read their thread over her shoulder and it was full of romantic, sexual messages where she’d asked him to call her the same pet name as her late husband and I broke down.

“I couldn’t look at her. It was heartbreaking that she’d been lying and so, so sad that these awful criminals were manipulating her grief.

“Eventually she let me look at her messages after crying in bed for a day. She told him she was £2400 in debt – she’s a pensioner in social housing with no other income – and was still telling him she couldn’t afford the £50 to pay for his flight.”

Pig butchering and the terrifying power of manipulation

“My Mum is especially vulnerable because she is grieving,” explains Lucy. “She suddenly faced living alone in her late 60s. The power of their manipulation is so terrifying. To see it happen to someone you love, it’s like watching a criminal move in with them.

“They steal not only money, but also their ties to family and friends, their hopes, and their faith in the world. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to speak to my Mum and know she is lying to us, for a scammer. It feels like she’s an addict.”

“We feel so helpless”

“She seems so much more frail now,” says Lucy. “I’ve always thought of her as strong and independent. Sometimes, and especially at Christmas, it was as if she wasn’t fully with it – like someone who is brainwashed.

“We’re not out of the woods now, we are in touch with her friends and sharing information between us. This is both hints that she is still in touch with the scammer, as well as unravels the lies she’s telling us to try and cover up or borrow money.

“Our next step is an intervention with everybody in her life, but to even consider the level of shame and embarrassment this would bring to her feels so inhumane. It seems like our last resort.

“We’ve found photos of this guy on numerous different websites – ones for older gay men; a very explicit site fetishing older women, as well as Plenty of Fish and others like that. His story is repeated across many different scamming forums, but it means nothing as Mum’s in love with this fake person and we feel so helpless.”

Accountability against pig butchering and scamming feels impossible

“I wish I had more advice to offer others,” says Lucy. “Even though there is advice out there from charities and the police, getting any intervention, action or accountability for these people feels impossible.

“There’s no practical, external help like an outreach worker or police specialist until a crime has been committed. For my Mum, I worry this will be her arrest for money laundering, or being evicted for not paying her rent.

“All we can do is try and be a safe place for her to share her worries with us, and go gently. That doesn’t feel enough.”

No one thinks it’ll happen to them, until it does

This story is a stark reminder that romance scams and pig butchering scams don’t just target the vulnerable – they create vulnerability. They isolate victims, erode trust within families, and leave emotional scars that linger long after the money is gone.

For every victim like the exploited woman in this story, there are countless others suffering in silence. They’re often ashamed, confused, and still clinging to hope that the person on the other end of the phone is real.

If you suspect someone you love is being drawn into a romance scam, don’t wait for “proof.” Trust your instincts, speak up with compassion, and seek advice from professionals before it’s too late.

These scams don’t just steal money – they steal people. And fighting back starts with listening to the stories of those who’ve already been through it.

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